Kisstastrophe On Deck
by Lady Emily
Summary: Chaos ensues when Bailey kisses Zack instead of Cody by mistake, accidentally setting off a chain-reaction of inappropriate kissing! Not to mention, will Cody ever forgive her?
1. The Hazards Of Dating a Twin

A/N: Hey guys. New story. Four short chapters. Hope you like!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters and am making no profit from this story.

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Ch 1: The Hazards of Dating a Twin

"Girls, you ready?" Zack raised his fist to knock on the door of Bailey and London's cabin, jumping back in surprise when it swung open before he could hit it.

London slipped out of the darkened cabin, shutting the door quickly behind her. "Hey Zack!" she said brightly. "I'm ready!"

Zack stared at the suspiciously bright smile on her face. "Uh... kay. Cody will be right here, he just went to get his camera. Where's Bailey?"

London's grin turned wicked. "Still in bed." she said smugly. Zack recoiled in horror as she produced what appeared to be the headless body of a chicken from behind her back. "Relax!" she laughed. "It's just Bailey's stupid alarm clock. Every morning at six am, it's 'Cock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-doo!' But today... today I got my revenge." She held the mangled chicken clock in front of her face. "Well cock-a-doodle-screw-you!" she crowed at it.

"Uh, wow..." Zack whistled under his breath. "Look, we should really get Bailey up. The ship just docked, and it wouldn't be fair to let her miss all the educational opportunities of-... where are we docking again?"

"...Europe?" London guessed helpfully. Then she scowled. "_You_ can get her up. She wouldn't be so tired if she hadn't been up till all hours going on about how she was going to spend all day with her _dreamy_ boyfriend... Geez it's been like two weeks since they went to that stupid Hannah Montana concert together, shouldn't she be getting _over_ him already?"

"This may be hard for people like you and me to believe," Zack began, "But _some _people's relationships last longer than two weeks. Some even for _months_. And they take things really slowly and carefully so they don't mess it up with too much too soon." He shrugged off her disbelieving stare. "What? That's just what I've _heard_."

"Whatever..." London said. "You can go ahead and wake her up. I've got a body to dispose of." She held up the headless chicken.

Zack rolled his eyes as London scurried down the hall, letting himself into her cabin quietly. A small amount of sunlight filtered in around the window shade, but otherwise the room was dim. In the semi-darkness he could make out Bailey's sleeping figure on her bed, cocooned in blankets and breathing peacefully. "Bailey?" he said in a low voice. "Bailey, time to wake up."

When she didn't move, Zack edged closer to her bed. "Bailey?" She stirred in her sleep, smiling slightly, and he leaned down to speak directly in her ear. "Baileyyyy...." He took her shoulder and shook her gently.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him sleepily. "Hey, you..." she murmured. Before Zack could say a word, she reached up and tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling his lips to hers.

For a long moment, Zack was too stunned to react, possible courses of action flying around in his brain like butterflies, too fluttery and unstable to grasp any one of them. His eyes were wide open, affording him a view of Bailey at a strange new angle, her eyes shut, head tilted, neck temptingly exposed... After a few seconds, his eyes drifted shut automatically as her mouth moved against his...

"Mm... _Cody..._" she breathed, and that was what finally caused Zack to snap into action.

He pulled away from her and stumbled back a few steps, pinwheeling his arms in alarm. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No!"

Bailey opened her eyes. "Zack?!" she yelped, scrambling back so far that she actually tumbled off the bed. She covered her face with her hands, as if by removing him from sight she could change the past. "Oh..." she peered through her fingers. "Oh no..." Shifting her embarrassed gaze to the doorway, she gasped. "Cody!"

Zack spun around, sure enough, his brother and London were standing in the doorway. London's eyes were round with shock, and Cody... Zack had never seen his twin look so stricken. "Code..." he began, but Cody wheeled around and ran. Zack shifted his gaze between the doorway and Bailey, who was clutching her blankets around her protectively although she was perfectly decently clothed. "Bailey!" he snapped.

"You kissed me!" Bailey said accusingly, pressing her back against the wall defensively, as if he might try to do it again.

"No way! You kissed _me!_" Zack retorted.

"You kissed back!"

"I didn't mean to!" Zack shouted back, going on the offensive. "You thought I was Cody! How could you?!"

"I was half asleep!" Bailey defended hysterically. "You were in my room! You were in my face!"

"I was trying to wake you!" Zack hollered back.

"Well you sure did that!" Bailey cried. She buried her face in her hands. "Oh, Zack... you're right, this was all my fault. I can't believe I mistook you for Cody! This is a nightmare!" Suddenly she straightened up. "_Is_ this a nightmare? Quick, pinch me!"

Zack reached over and pinched her arm, and Bailey yanked away immediately. "Hey! Don't _touch_ me!"

"But you just said- OW! London!" Zack yelled. London had crossed from the doorway to grab his arm in a hard pinch.

"What?" London shrugged innocently. "You just got to first base with your brother's girlfriend, I figured this might be _your_ dream."

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A/N: Evidently I love to torture poor Cody. Please review! Chapter 2 coming soon!


	2. It's Unexpected! It's Surprising!

A/N: Thanks for the feedback, keep it up, and enjoy chapter 2!

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Ch 2: It's Unexpected! It's Surprising!

"So..." London said after a long silence. She, Zack, and Bailey were standing in an awkward triangle around Bailey's bed in the dimly-lit cabin. "You guys just kiiiissed, and Cody sawww....."

"Shut up, London." Bailey said, clearly upset. She turned to Zack. "What are we going to do?"

"Who says I have to do anything?" Zack returned.

"Who says _I _have to do anything?" London echoed.

Bailey wheeled on London. "If you're not going to be helpful, you should just get out!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" London said suspiciously, pointing between Bailey and Zack.

Bailey cringed and Zack rolled his eyes. "Yes, we would." he said exasperatedly, "But not for the reason you're thinking."

"What makes you think I'm thinking anything?" London said innocently, folding her arms.

Zack considered for a minute. "I don't... know." he said slowly.

Bailey was looking between them in disbelief. "Hello? Not the time for your oh-so-witty banter!"

"Okay, here's the deal." Zack said, spreading his hands. "Right now, Cody is hurt and upset, but once he's had time to think about it, he's going to be super-pissed. If you go try to explain before he gets to the anger stage, you might have a shot. If not, you're just going to get a whole lot of stubborn snarky back-talk. If I go I could potentially get punched in the face either way."

"I don't think Cody's the face-punching type." London pointed out.

"Kicked in the shin, then." Zack amended, nodding.

"So you're saying I should go talk to him?" Bailey asked, uncertain.

"You're his girlfriend." Zack shrugged.

"You're his brother." she retorted.

"I'm his rich, attractive friend." London put in.

"This is your fault, though, you just admitted it." Zack reminded Bailey.

"I know, but, I'm just afraid of making things worse." Bailey said, biting her lip. "What if he hates me?"

"What if he hates _me_?" Zack challenged.

"He doesn't hate _me!_" London said happily. "Guys?" She was ignored.

"He can't hate _you_, you're his brother."

"You obviously don't know how much he likes _you_."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"We're wasting valuable pre-anger stage time." Zack pointed out.

Bailey sighed. "I know, I know. What if we talk to him together?"

Zack considered. "I don't know, that might work."

"But what do we say to him?"

"I guess we'll just have to explain what happened and hope he believes us."

"You mean you think he thinks we kissed _on purpose?!_" Bailey shuddered.

"I don't know, maybe." Zack answered uncomfortably. "You know how insecure he gets."

Bailey sank down on the bed. "I can't believe I did this to him." she said morosely. "I'm a horrible girlfriend."

Zack sat down next to her. "No you're not. Accidents happen." he said soothingly. "We'll just explain the whole thing, apologize, he'll forgive us, I'll leave the room and then the two of you can _really_ make up."

Bailey blushed at his insinuation. "We haven't actually... well..." she flushed deeper and looked away. "I should so not be telling you that."

"You and Cody haven't kissed yet?" Zack said, dumbfounded. He shook his head, staring at the ceiling. "Cody! Come on, man!"

"We've kissed!" Bailey said defensively. "...A little. Just nothing like... that."

"Nothing like what?" Zack said, confused. Then it dawned on him. "Like... _that?_" he asked hesitantly, gesturing between her and himself.

The pained expression on Bailey's face was answer enough, and Zack jumped up from the bed, running his fingers through his hair, pacing back and forth. "Oh. Oh no. This is bad. Worse than I thought. He's never going to forgive me. From here on in, I am functionally an only child."

"No!" Bailey exclaimed. "We'll talk to him. Everything will be fine. It has to be."

Zack stopped pacing. "Okay. Okay, just, make sure you tell him the kiss was terrible."

"Of course." Bailey said, as if it were obvious.

"Okay." Zack paused. "But really it was good, right?"

"Of course."

"... Where did London go?"

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"Hey Cody."

Cody didn't move, hoping if he just stayed still something else would attract London's attention and she would leave.

"I said, hey Cody!" London pressed in her loud, shrill voice. "Geez, are you _sad_, or _deaf_?"

"Right now, sad and _wishing_ I was deaf." Cody said dryly.

London stepped out onto the port side deck and eased herself into the deck chair next to Cody's, stretching out her lean, tanned legs and propping her designer sandals up in view of any passers-by.

Cody looked over, watching as she carefully arranged her hair around her bare shoulders, waiting for her to finish primping and speak. It was a habit of London's to continually act as if she were on show, even when there was no one else around. He hoped it wasn't for his benefit, because he had stopped looking at London as a _girl_ a long time ago. In fact, from the moment he realized he was meant to be with Bailey, she was the only girl he looked at at all.

But thinking about Bailey made him a little sick to his stomach at the moment. When he closed his eyes his head was filled with images of the kiss he had witnessed earlier- the one between Bailey and his twin. Rewatching the moment in his head, he couldn't help but muse that that must be what _he_ and Bailey looked like when they kissed... Except, of course, that Bailey had never kissed _him_ like that.

In frustration, he swung his arm out to the side, slamming somebody's abandoned half-drunk smoothie off a nearby table and into the wall, where it made a satisfying pineapple-flavored splatter.

"Cody, you're making a mess." London admonished gently.

Cody glared at her for a long moment before his shoulders slumped. "You're right." he said, leaning over to pick up the now-empty cup.

London swung her legs to his side of the lounge chair and leaned towards him, reaching out to take one of his hands. "It was an accident." she said quietly. "Are you going to forgive them?"

"How do you _kiss_ someone by accident?" Cody sighed, himself unsure of the answer to her question.

London rolled her eyes. "Well, you know, sometimes you think you're kissing your boyfriend, when you're actually kissing someone who looks _exactly like him_."

"Fine." Cody snorted. "Assuming for a minute that I'm _not_ offended by the fact that Bailey- and you, apparently- can't tell me and Zack apart, what about Zack? He had to know who _he _was kissing."

"Yeah, but, you know, surprise kiss." London said, as if that explained everything.

"Surprise kiss." Cody repeated flatly.

"Nobody can control their reaction to a surprise kiss! It's unexpected! It's... surprising!"

"So you said." Cody said dryly. "But I'm pretty sure the fact that something is _surprising_ doesn't mean you're no longer responsible for your actions."

London looked down at her perfectly pedicured toenails. "I guess you're right." she said, shifting around in her seat uncomfortably. Then, without warning, she swooped in to press her lips against his.

"Mm!" Cody mumbled a short-lived protest as London leaned in farther, raking her nails through his hair and deepening the kiss. It took a good fifteen seconds for Cody's brain to unfreeze. When it finally did, he found that somehow his hands had moved to her waist of their own accord. He was just starting to entertain thoughts of pushing her away when a shrill voice sounded close by, causing them to jump apart.

"London! _Cody?!_"


	3. There is a Very Fine Line

A/N: You guys are great! Your reviews made me laugh. Enjoy chapter 3!

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Ch 3: There is a Very Fine Line Between Surprise and Ambush

"London! _Cody?!_"

Cody jumped backwards at the sound of the disbelieving voice, tangling his legs in the arm of the lounge chair and toppling backwards onto the deck. London sat back calmly. "Hi Moseby!" she greeted the ship's manager, whose eyes were nearly bugging out of his head.

"What? What-" Mr. Moseby looked extremely flustered. "I demand to know what is going on here! London, is he-? Cody? Aren't you dating Bailey? What in the-"

"Moseby, Moseby, calm down." London said, "Cody doesn't know anything, really."

"He doesn't _know_ anything?!" Mr. Moseby repeated, incredulous.

Cody scrambled to his feet. "Uh..."

"Ooh. Lipstick on your face." London said. She stood and whipped the fine silk handkerchief out of Mr. Moseby's pocket, then grabbed Cody's chin and began to wipe the red smudges off his lips.

"London! Cody!" Mr. Moseby barked, frustrated both by their avoidance of his question and the ruination of his pocket hankie. "What is going on here?"

"Well, you see, Moseby, Cody and I were just settling a bit of an _academic_ disagreement." London said.

Mr. Moseby folded his arms sternly. "I don't see anything _academic_ about teenagers groping each other on the port deck." he said. "I'll have to ask Miss Tutweiller when we started putting _making out_ in the school curriculum!"

"Hey, there... there was no _groping._" Cody said weakly, finally finding his voice. "...Not on my end, anyway."

"You'll have to ask Miss Tutweiller _what?_" Emma Tutweiller poked her head through the hall's side door, stepping out to join the small group.

"What kind of homework you could _possibly_ have assigned that would require these two to be fooling around on the port deck?" Moseby said dryly, continuing to eye Cody and London in disapproval.

"What?!" Miss Tutweiller exploded, unsure she was hearing correctly. "London? _Cody?!_" She seemed to be a little lost. "But... but Cody's my best student..."

Cody was breathing heavily. "It's a big misunderstanding." he assured his teacher quickly. He turned to London. "Don't take this the wrong way, but have you gone _insane_?"

London flung out her arms in a _ta-da!_ gesture. "Surprise kiss!"

"_Surprise kiss?_" Moseby repeated in dismay.

"Oh, so then it wasn't really Cody's fault." Miss Tutweiller said with an understanding nod.

Mr. Moseby looked at the tall redhead as if she'd just announced that the world was flat and the ship was about to sail off it. "Right, I suppose he had no choice in the matter?" he said sarcastically.

Miss Tutweiller shrugged. "It's a surprise. There's no controlling it."

"No controlling it!" Mr. Moseby repeated in disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous. This is a blatant violation of the rule prohibiting public displays of affection, and the result will be detention." He glared straight at Cody. "For _both _of you."

"Detention!" Miss Tutweiller protested. "But I can't supervise detention tomorrow! I have a yoga-lates class after school!"

"And I have a nail appointment!"

"And I was kissed against my will!"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh!" Moseby tutted, waving his finger. "I don't want to hear excuses-"

Miss Tutweiller reached over and planted a kiss on Moseby's lips, effectively cutting him off.

Cody and London gaped at their lip-locked supervisors in wide-eyed shock. "Okay, I forgive Zack." Cody said finally.

After a long minute Moseby pulled away, sputtering. "Ah! Buh! Buh!" he shook off his befuddlement, straightening his jacket lapels in a businesslike fashion. "Emma, London, detention!" he said sternly, adding, "Cody, you're excused."

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Bailey and Zack were walking down the hall looking for Cody when they came face-to-face with an angry London.

"I got detention!" London pouted, stomping her foot.

"For what?" Zack asked, simply because it seemed like the thing to do.

London looked at Bailey. "For kissing Cody." she said, wiping at her lips as if Cody's kiss was a piece of fluff stuck to her lip gloss. When Bailey just stared at her in open-mouthed shock, London raised her eyebrows expectantly. "You're _welcome_." Then she stomped off in the opposite direction.

Zack and Bailey just looked at each other in confusion.


	4. An Inappropriately Happy Resolution

A/N: Quick note on Ch3- A few of you were confused as to why Tutweiller and Moseby's kiss made Cody forgive his brother... the idea was that he realized it wasn't Zack's fault, since, as he just learned (twice), nobody can control their reaction to the surprise kiss! (Disclaimer: This story is not at all to be taken seriously. I refuse to accept any responsibility for real-life misuse of the surprise kiss.)

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Ch 4: An Inappropriately Happy Resolution

When they finally found Cody, he was sitting in his cabin, alone. Bailey knocked softly and entered, Zack trailing behind her. "Cody?"

Cody looked up at her and his face darkened. "Bailey?"

Bailey couldn't stand seeing that angry look directed at her. Cody had never been angry at her before. She quickly made her way to his side, skirting around the debris on Woody's side of the room. "Cody, I am _so_ sorry." she said, her brown eyes pleading for him to at least _talk_ to her. "It was a total accident! I thought... I thought..."

"You thought he was me?" Cody finished coolly. "I get it. We're twins, there's no reason to expect you to be able to tell us apart."

"It was dark!" Bailey protested. "And I was half-asleep, and..." she began to blush a deep red. "And I'd just been, uh, dreaming... about you."

Zack shifted uncomfortably in his spot by the door. Cody noticed. "It's okay, man. You can go."

"I can go?" Zack repeated in disbelief. "Look, Codes, there's nothing between Bailey and me." He put a hand on Bailey's shoulder, gesturing between them. "It was just this stupid coincidence and-"

"Ya still shouldn't touch her." Cody pointed out confrontationally and Zack snatched back his hand as if burned. Cody couldn't help but grin. "It's kind of a long story, but I get it." he said. "I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again."

"Believe me, I have no intention!" Zack said, visibly relieved. He crossed the room to embrace his brother. "I'm so glad you understand! Thanks, bro. You know I never meant to hurt you."

Cody ended the hug with a manly pat on the back. "I know, Zack."

Bailey was watching the scene in disbelief, upset that her apology had been shunted aside and Zack was so easily forgiven. But she remained quiet, almost afraid to draw attention to herself. What was Cody planning to say to her once he got Zack to leave?

Cody ushered Zack to the door and shut it behind his retreating brother. When he turned back to Bailey, she gave a little shiver at the look in his eyes. He walked back to stand directly in front of her, and she reached a tentative hand up to rest on his shoulder, leaning in to brush her lips against his...

Cody stopped her. "You think you can just kiss me every time you mess up and I'll automatically forgive you?"

Bailey dropped her hand and stepped back, suitably chastised. "No. I'm sorry." she murmured.

Staring at the floor, she missed the teasing smile that flitted across his face. "You're not even gonna_ try_?" he asked, disappointment in his tone.

Her head shot up. "What?"

Cody wrapped his arms around her waist and brushed a quick kiss against her lips. "I guess I overreacted." he murmured.

"No." Cody was being so sweet that Bailey was angry at herself at this point. "You were absolutely right to be upset. I kissed Zack! Sure, I thought he was you, but that's no excuse! I mean, it's actually worse! I can't even recognize my own boyfriend!"

"Yeah, but it was dark. And you were half-asleep. And," Cody grinned, planting a kiss on her jaw, "You were dreaming about me..."

"Yeah, I was." Bailey breathed, having trouble concentrating with Cody's lips on her neck. "Cody..."

"Mmm?" Cody answered, brushing his lips back along her jaw and finally finding her mouth with his. He pulled her body closer, kissing her softly at first, and then with more passion. Bailey gasped into his mouth as she felt his tongue skim her lips, urging them open. She ran her hands up his chest and locked them around his neck, pressing the whole lengths of their bodies together.

"Wow..." Bailey sighed when they broke apart. She had never been kissed like that before. She leaned her forehead against his and felt her heart pounding as she took in the sight of his loving gaze, his kiss-swollen lips... He and Zack had never looked more different to her.

"Yeah..." Cody agreed with a lopsided smile.

"So I'm forgiven?" Bailey breathed hesitantly.

Cody kissed her again. "You even have to ask?"

A terrible thought crossed Bailey's mind. "Is this how you kissed London?" she asked suddenly.

"Didn't you kiss my _brother_?"

"Touché." Bailey acknowledged, realizing that Cody was going to be winning a _lot _of arguments in the near future.

But as he kissed her again, tenderly, lovingly... she thought she might be okay with that.


End file.
